I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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