I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
