That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I party with great urgency now.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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