I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize