whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
