Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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