Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
