my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
