Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
