NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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