well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
