What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
