i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Randomize
