fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
