Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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