And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
her facebook's as public as her vagina
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
