Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
