So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
the room spins SO much faster in panama
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
