shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
