Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
