how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Sorry my hands just texted you
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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