we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
