i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Panties = found
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