all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
