He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
