i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
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