honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
