Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
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