Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Randomize
