i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
