i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Even my vagina gasped.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
