I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize