Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Randomize
