these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
She announced her abortion via fbk
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
