I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Randomize