i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
