I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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