Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
