After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Do vagina's smell?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize