Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Randomize
