I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
