he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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