this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
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