I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
