I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize