My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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