Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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