I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
