And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
