respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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