i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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