No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
