My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
