Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Randomize