Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
