It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
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