my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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