um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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