He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
