Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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