Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize