My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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