don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
