you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
