I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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